damn it...the night before yesterday night, which is 28 of nov...i was so tired that i couldn't sleep...i had that kind of 被鬼压de feeling...many times i stopped breathing and lost control over my body...when i could finally breath and move again...i lost it the moment i close my eyes....i decided to listen to some music,..as i really couldn't stand it anymore...music will calm me down...but my stupid phone, the damn speaker couldn't work even after i performed CPR for it...i decided to use the wire instead...ah...finally get to listen to some music..it really calmed me down and help me to sleep through the night...but...however!!!when i woke up..i found my phone lying on the floor, in pieces...damn it...i fall asleep without plucking out the wire..and i accidentally pulled the whole phone and dropped it on the floor...

NOW...the phone couldn't detect the memory card...i have only 12MB for music, pictures and videos...haiz...so geh xin...then i went to the sony ericsson shop at Simei there to see if i can still use my warranty card which was over on Oct...they said can't use it anymore...then i asked them if i want to repair the phone..how much would it be...it cost 70 bucks..plus..minus..

haiz...it is so ex...i didn't repair it...just let it be and wait for another yr before i can change my phone..lol..(if anyone know how to repair or got any where which charge cheap for repairing..pls tell me)

what happened is yesterday,..what's going to happen is tomorrow..we can't change them or predict them..so let's just enjoy the present..

yo..haha..just came back from guitar camp this afternoon at around 3pm.

this whole guitar was a success but only one thing. the number of participants taking part in the camp sucks...only half of the 50 people...or maybe less then that..haiz..that's the only thing that didn't meet my expectation..even though i know that the attendance is not going to be very good, somehow i'm still sad that not all attended. however, a small group of people may not be a bad thing cause i can focus on them more and give them more attentions..

J2 people came back to help out, to give talks..and i appreciate their effort...not just the member but the exco also has to do some reflections.

the weather is good for the camp...many activities runs well and they enjoy them...really like seeing the interaction between everyone...through this camp...i can see that some of us really make new friends and this camp will stay inside them ..in their heart. a pity some didn't go..ya. but well...there will be next time.

today just ended the ogl camp with wet activities...i'm the game ic..but only one group camp to my game..i can't try out the improvised activity..the timing of wet and wild is not so good..like MMM..but MMM is worse then wet and wild..get shoot by the ogl so fierce that it's not enough to do the briefing in 30 min...hahaha..that's how bad the game is..

some group has to run all the way to Toa Payoh to play the game leh...that's like so dump...went all the way there..not far meh...and we have to reach there in 30 mins..the councillors said they tried going there and they made it in that period of time...but who can tell anything in the future...no one can tell. so don't always assume that what sc can do can be achieved by ogls...because too unforeseen events can happen..can the ogm do that...hahaha..hope the sc's will do something...i made some new friends...hahaha...

4-5 hours of sleep every night is a torture to someone like me who needs to sleep more then that...but sometime a msg or two can really like made me forget about my tiredness...

but tomorrow still got guitar camp...and the logistic things is still not done yet..but i'm so damm sleepy now...forcing my eyes to open wide to make myself a lert.....yawn...yawwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!jia you...tomorrow another camp..haha..

the SC's are more tired then us...every night they have to do briefing until very late...sleep lesser then me..you guys are good people..haha. heard that there's a SC sleeping at one of the MRT while waiting for the OGLs to come for MMM...(heard is YUnZhi).the group arrived and circle her, but she didn't realise and continued sleepingun,..until the group woke her up...so..poor thing, the councillors.. my heart is with your..hahaha..jia you!!!!

i think there's a misunderstanding of what i write in my blog....i'm really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really sorry...i didn't mean that way... i didn't mean it to turn out that way...there's a misunderstanding..and now is my turn to clear it....will you give me a chance. i'm so sorry.

19nov2007..00.07am..a msg that ends my source of joy and blissfulness..another moment i will remember for life...

lossing you for two time..and this time,..it worst than previous one.

is it really fair...? have you though whether i want it or not...do i want to give up like that..i don't know if i dare to xi huan another one or not....i hav lost my yong qi ler...no confidence ler....once is enough...it's so painful..hao tong..hao tong...hao tong...

17/11/07..the day i will remember for life...for as long as i still have a clear mind...stupid lighter that fails me...failing my plan...next time i will bring a few lighters...i will always remember the warmth of your hand when i first held it..it's so touching...i don't think i will forget the feeling at that point of time..

i was at a lost of words, nervous..mouth was so dry...trembling.. 语无伦次。。that kind of feeling is so unforgettable..and i can't find a word to relate it...but it's deep down in my heart....I'm so so so so so so^X xinfu...XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

learn a few things today, first..i learnt that sometime the hard work you put in will not be appreciated by other people..

today was actually the first time that i put in game for guitar practise, they know that guitar practise is boring, dull..sian...and some, i think, find no purpose to come for practise. and so i would like to make guitar practise no just about practising guitar and arrange to have squash after lunch break.. the practise time was from 9 to 3.. lunch break from 12 to 1.. that's a very long practise hour. so i hope to make it fun by having some game...but well, no one bothers...

not said no one lah..at least zhenyan, jiahui, Rebbecca and the exco did stay back and play lah... some of them actually left when i went down to book the court..GEM them...next time..wait..there won't be next time ler...haiz...disappointed..

i will not take about the second incident..cause it also make me sad, hurt me..but well it's my fault anyway...not going to let it affect us..time will erase it...

though it's all sad and disappointed events but i really learn something from them..jia you..zhiyong..you can do it..jia you!!jia you!!!jia you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!sunshine after rain,..

yesterday was the J1 bash...only lam and junkai(who has to go) went for it...and it's also junkai's 17th birthday.. so the few of us, kelvin, ronald, kevan, arvin, lam, zhang chuan and me celebrate for him outside the pub...

we bought him a 4-4 Rubi's cube and a key-chain that is a 3-3 rubi's cube..and also kelvan bought him a pair of slippers...we didn't buy him a cake lah..but bought him 17 puffs..then we wanted to ask for 17 small candles but the aunty don't allow..not fun any more, initially we want to use the re-lightable candles for him to blow..hahaha..but kevan didn't bring...

so after getting all the stuffs ready., it's time to find the place..the pub.......had a hard time finding it..called many people to ask...didn't call jk lah..so as not to alert him. when we found the place, we started to lay out the puffs and hide..we asked lam, who's in the bash to bring jk out then we give him a SURPEISE...hahaha..but i think he know already the moment lam carried one of the puff with candles on it..but well..never mind..

so we sang birthday songs and asked him to stand a distance away form the candles to blow it out..and jk proved to us that he is really worth calling jk...he blew out the candles eventhough it's far away form him...got huge lung capacity..hahahaha...

then everyone started eating..heard from lam that there's no food inside the bash..no food for lam leh!!!! ..how can your treat lam like that...food is what he needs most lah..hahahaha..no food is as good as taking his life away lah..hahaha

initially wanted to wait for someone to go home together but the plan didn't carry out..a regret.

yesterday went to AMK hub...yup all the way there. it's simply because erich's squash competition is at yio chu gang..so though of going there and because i haven't been there also. initially there's only a few people, but then more people came...zhiyuan also came..he said he's going to study with his friends but was being "fang fei ji" le. so he came..

we didn't spend a lot of time at AMK, after a while, we wanted to go Novena Square. we saw this blind guy trying to get up the escalator and so kind-hearted Erich walked up to offer his help, help him get up the escalator and help him buy a can of drink...but one thing he did that really make us laugh..he asked the blind man whether he wants to keep the reciepts...hahaha..we were laughing like mad..blind man leh..how he see..hahaha..but he's still a kind guy..

Novena square got nothing much to shop and not much crowd also.. so we shifted to orchard Far East...walk a few rounds and met a lot of friends. it's like a mini gathering...

pictures i took at pasir ris beach..

a friend just asked me some relationship stuffs online...she asked me, if i break up with my gf because i think that there's a problem between the way we communicate...will i still look back at the relationship...(patch up)...

well i simply told her this, " before you think of patching up with him, do you think the problem (communication) still exists or not..if it exists then why bother to..cause the outcome would be the same..breaking up eventually..and of course does your heart still yarn for him or not...(i didn't tell her that)...感情是要两方面的付出，不是单方面的..( told her this also..but i can't translate it into eng..sorry.)....

if the guy don't want, then you can not pester him also..maybe just let him go.. it may not be a bad thing, if the two of you are really meant for each other, then no matter what, you will still cross each other's pathway.. and eventually be together again, though the journey maybe long, but in the end, it makes the whole relationship, the journey even more memorable, unforgettable and treasurable。so don't have to force it..let nature takes it's own course..."

well, she said she's going to wait for another few more months...i told her..do you think it's worth it...wasting your time on someone who don't love you anymore...hoping that he will turn back but in fact he won't even look back at the relationship...(my own feeling about it, i didn't tell her that)..."really..is it worth it or not..different people will have different views..so i won't comment on it..it's really up to individuals..

she also said that there's something obstructing her way to carry on her normal life...then i also told her," it's up to you whether you want to let this obstacle to block you way, or to remove this obstacle that's blocking your way...get if off your heart. it's a pain to keep it..." well that's the end of the conversation..of course i told to be the usual girl that we all know lah..and i think she' s sensible enough lah..hahaha..love..

i hope today's blog will somehow will help someone at somewhere sometime....but all i can do is to talk about this but no real actions..haiz..coward..

don't know what to say today..ya..but just blog for the sake of blogging bah..if anything that needs to be remember it will be "fate" bah.. my friends and i were discussing about it and then really..it makes me wonder also...ya..if i could just know you earlier...haiz...time is the most cruel thing...dame time...

yesterday was a fruitful day. my guitar exco went to Pasir ris beach there to plan out the activities for the guitar camp that will comment during the end of Nov.. take a few pictures also...will be shown next time.

why i said it's a fruitful day? well..it's because initially there's no games for the camp. but after yesterday, we have came out with a number of games and i'm sure it's going to be fun on that day.

we stay at the beach from 3 plus in the afternoon to 10 plus in the night.. at around 6 plus, we went back to civilisation(ws) for dinner( saw RON there with his haising VB junior, didn't see LAM..hahaha) then went back to the beach again to test out the game, we have a night walk at the mangrove swarm with tourches lah..well...because non of us actually carrys a tourch with us, so we have to go into the SUPER DUPER dark mangrove swarm with only arvin's hp light,...it's super scary...and i'm sure that will leave them a deep impression.. woooo..

after that we went to the Human Maze..upon entering, we were greeted with spider webs....(as can see, how long the maze has being used)..when we are in the core of the maze, we were once greeted by red ants..climping up my legs, luckily i killed it before it climped any further up...hahaha

the last place that we went was the playground near Fisherman's Village. had a lot of fun there, over there we made full use of the facilities. we have games for almost all the facilities...the camp (if approved) will be fun,..(need a lot of funds also..haiz..)

p.s: ehhh...hmmmm...sorry for not being able to meet you...ya..really sorry.

people, friends, family members of 4e2.....a news for your.....

we will have a Christmas eve eve party...23 of DEc...make that day free.....yeap..update your again.

went to school this morning to open the guitar room to let jia yi take her guitar, but think someone mistook her guitar...so she has to wait until fri to see who took her guitar.

then after that went to Arts friend with yanxuan and evan..though i can find the things or at least give my some inspiration, but well, it didn't...ya.

though of going to pasir ris beach before i msg yanxuan to lend me her Arts friend membership card...

yanxuan asked me about 4e2 outing..haiz.....like what huilin (welfare rep) had said, there's so many things that we can do but we don't have the require funds..hope i can also find some "gudong"..hahaha...hmm..yanxuan suggest an Christmas eve gathering..well it's not a bad idea...cause every year i will go to my friend's house for the same party also...haha..not bad oh...

then at around 6..went down to buy some stuffs to cook for dinner, met charmaine and xiaomin at Big BOokShOP...i intend to look up at some cook book to decide what to cook, but then didn't..and so just buy anything i can think of and went back home...

find out a lot of 4e2 people today from charmaine and xiaomin,..it shows that i should start to pay more attentions to 4e2 people...hmmm.....ya.

met suet jing at TP there, hahaha such a coincidence, it's been how long since i last saw her....(met solomon too)..hahaha..she's still "piao piao dang dang"...just like me...

hmmm.. now come to think of.. i met a lot of people today at one go. i saw my lao peng you at the coffee shop near my house at around 9 when i went down to buy Neutrogena facial wash.. well he didn't change a bit.. like what he said about me too..i'm just like Ctrl+C then Ctrl+V...my face was a copy from the past when we were young..that's a interesting way of saying someone who didn't change..

2 nov..it marks the end of op...the last stage of pw...i should be feeling happy, super happy, but the fact is i didn't feel that way. not at all...cause it marks the end of that week...the end of time.

i'm lost from that day on...